Putting sobriety first: Why it’s so important

When the Ocean Hills team speak to people who have “fallen off the wagon”, or gone back to drinking after a period of sobriety, invariably there are a few things that they report.

“I got busy with ….”. Fill in the blanks with work, kids, or a project.

They never say, “I got busy working on my recovery.”

It may sound harsh but this is the cold reality of sustainable sobriety. If you put it last, you will lose everything that you prioritise before it.

That means your health, children, job, house and friends. It means everything.

Sobriety needs to be at the top of your priority list.

Here’s what *Maree told us about what kept her from getting sober as she slipped and slid through 20 years of relapses.

“I’d been to rehab when I was quite young, and stayed sober for almost a year. I was only 20 years old, and I wanted to have fun with my friends to fit in, and enjoy being young, so I decided to drink again.

"For the most part didn’t want to, get sober until I had a child at 30. Then I made a big effort to stop drinking. This time I didn’t do rehab but went to 12-step meetings and met lots of people. The support was great for a while but I stopped going to meetings because I was so busy with my child.

“It only took a few months of not getting support and I was back to drinking again. I kept trying to stop but I could only last a few days or a week off the bottle. I tried to go back to meetings but I didn’t want to leave my daughter with a babysitter.

“That pattern went on for the best part of the next 14 years. I thought I was being a good mother because I wouldn’t leave my child but the reality was, I was using that as an excuse for me to keep drinking. In the first few years, I would usually wait until she had gone to sleep before I poured myself a drink but gradually, I became less careful and drank in the late afternoons.

"I was absolutely kidding myself that I was being a good mother by not leaving her and then my subsequent child with anyone. In reality, I was a drunk mother. Knowing what I know now, I should have left her with a babysitter so I could go and get the support that I needed to get properly sober and stay that way.”

Sorting your sobriety support & putting it first

Recovery from substance abuse doesn’t happen by accident. It takes commitment to a daily practice of sobriety. For many people this includes using the skills that they learn in rehab, which can include professional support, connecting with others, keeping on top of stress and living as mindfully as possible.

It will also include choosing healthy physical habits, from looking after your body with nutritious food, plenty of water, exercise and good-quality rest.

Staying away from triggers - whether that’s people, places or things - and learning how to deal with cravings are also crucial parts of a successful sobriety practice.

A sober day will include many small decisions that keep you on track to stay away from that first drink. 

But the most important decision that you’ll make every day is to put your sobriety first. Only then will you get to enjoy a rich, healthy and sustainable life that sobriety will give you.

If you're looking for support to get sober for yourself or someone you love, give Elaine a call on 027 573 7744 for a confidential chat.