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Habit linking in sobriety
- paulettecrowley
- 3 days ago
- 5 min read
When people first arrive at Ocean Hills, one of the most common questions we hear is: “How do I start building a new life when everything feels chaotic?” The answer often lies in something deceptively simple – creating new habits. In early recovery, routine and structure are the cornerstones of change. And one of the most effective ways to build those routines is through habit linking.
What is habit linking in sobriety?
Habit linking (sometimes called habit stacking) in recovery is the practice of connecting a new, positive habit to something you already do automatically. By attaching one behaviour to another, you create a small chain of actions that support your recovery and daily wellbeing.
For example, if you already brush your teeth every night, you might decide to link a new habit to that – such as laying out your clothes for the next morning or filling your water bottle for the next day. Because the brushing is already a habit, the new behaviour becomes easier to remember and more likely to stick.
As Ocean Hills' Clinical Manager Stephanie Van Waas explains, “You might brush your teeth every night before bed – that’s already a habit. So, if you link a new behaviour to it, like getting your clothes ready for the next day, you’re more likely to remember it and make it part of your routine.”
Creating calm out of chaos
When you’re using alcohol or drugs, life is often unpredictable and chaotic. Meals get skipped, sleep patterns are irregular, self-care is forgotten. As Ocean Hills founder Elaine Atkinson puts it, “When we drink, we’re just chaotic – and when we get sober, we start to feel a little bit better about ourselves. That’s when we can begin forming new habits.”
Developing healthy routines is about more than keeping busy; it’s about rebuilding self-respect and stability. Getting up, showering, eating well and going to bed at a reasonable hour might seem basic but these are the very foundations of a healthy, sober life.
When you start to care for yourself, such as preparing a nourishing breakfast instead of just grabbing toast, making your bed, or taking time to wash your face at night, you’re sending yourself the message that you worth looking after.
Building habits that stick
The key to success with habit linking is to start small and be consistent. Try linking new routines to things you already do without thinking. For example:
After brushing your teeth, take a moment to set out your clothes for the next day.
When you boil the kettle, drink a glass of water before your tea or coffee.
Before going to bed, put your phone in another room to help you sleep better.
After dinner, take five minutes to plan tomorrow’s meals or write a gratitude list.
Each small link strengthens the next. Over time, these actions form a structure that supports your recovery and helps prevent the old chaos from creeping back in.
Self care is not selfish
For many people in recovery, practising self care feels strange at first. There can be guilt or resistance, or the feeling that you don’t deserve kindness, or that “normal life” is boring. But learning to take care of yourself is one of the most powerful acts of recovery.
“I used to think people who lived normal, routine lives were boring – but actually, that structure was what I needed most,” says Elaine. “When I got sober, I realised those habits weren’t dull; they were what kept me well. When you start to like the person in the mirror, everything else starts to fall into place.”
Making your bed, cooking a meal, or having a shower might seem trivial, but these are daily votes for the kind of life you want to live.
Routine and planning
Routine doesn’t have to mean rigidity. It’s simply a framework that helps you feel safe and steady. You might choose to do your food shopping at the same time each week, or to attend your peer support group on a certain day. These anchor points give rhythm to your week and reduce decision fatigue, which is something that can easily lead to stress or relapse.
Planning also helps prevent the old patterns from taking over. Think ahead about meals, sleep and how you’ll unwind at the end of the day. Keep your routines simple but intentional. Even something as basic as ensuring your laundry is in the basket can prevent small stresses from building up.
Replacing old patterns with new ones
During addiction, old habits served a purpose – they soothed pain, filled time, or numbed emotions. But now, in sobriety, those needs can be met in healthier ways. If you used to reach for a drink at 5pm, plan a replacement habit: go for a short walk, phone a friend or make a calming cup of tea instead.
And if a craving hits, delay and distract yourself. Have a glass of water first. Change your environment. Give yourself a few minutes for the urge to pass. Each time you do this, you’re rewiring your brain and proving to yourself that you can respond differently.
Recovery isn’t something to do alone. Having structure, support and people to talk to makes a world of difference. As we often remind our guests at Ocean Hills: you don’t have to do this on your own.
If you’re struggling to establish new routines or want to learn more about how habit linking can support your sobriety, reach out to our team for help.
You deserve a life that works
Habit linking in sobriety isn’t about perfection – it’s about progress. Each small, consistent act of self care builds confidence and stability. With time, these habits become second nature and life starts to flow more smoothly.
“If I participate in my own life and take care of myself, my life goes so much smoother,” Elaine says.
And that’s the heart of recovery – learning to live, one linked habit at a time.
*This award-winning podcast was made with the help of Radio Hawke's Bay.
If you’d like to know more about the programme at Ocean Hills, call Elaine on 027 573 7744.
