How to manage stress in sobriety

Understanding stress, recognising triggers, and practising practical strategies are key to managing it effectively.

Stress is a normal part of life, but in recovery from alcohol or other addictive behaviours, it can feel overwhelming. At Ocean Hills, we often see how stress can trigger relapse and amplify anxiety, making it harder to stay sober. Understanding stress, recognising triggers, and practising practical strategies are key to managing it effectively.

Understanding stress and its impact

Not all stress is bad. “We need a little bit of stress to get us moving in the morning,” says Stephanie Van Waas, Clinical Manager at Ocean Hills. She says stress affects everyone differently and can become a driver for addictive behaviours.

Habits like catastrophic thinking or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet can intensify anxiety and trigger the urge to use alcohol or drugs. Elaine Atkinson, our founder and Admissions Manager, reflects on her experience: “I carry that stress well. I do good self care to look after myself… it’s how I choose to look at it and I have a choice how I choose to manage it.”

The key is responding rather than reacting, Elaine says. Reacting is instinctive, often leading to automatic behaviours like drinking or using. Responding allows a considered, mindful choice about how to act.

Substances may provide temporary relief because they trigger dopamine release. Steph explains, “They give you a positive buzz initially… When we’re drinking, we are escaping. You get that buzz initially and you keep drinking and using and then that’s that escape, that self-medicating.” But continued use increases stress and anxiety, creating a cycle that can be hard to break.

Like podcasts? Listen to the Managing Stress episode of the Ocean Hills *Addicted to Recovery podcast here.

Box breathing exercises can help calm the nervous system.

How to manage stress in sobriety by building awareness + practical strategies

Managing stress in sobriety starts with awareness. Identify situations, people, or events that trigger stress – and recognise when these also prompt the urge to use substances.

Simple strategies can then help reduce stress:

• STOP technique: “Stop. Take a breath. Observe what’s going on around me. Pause, plan, proceed,” explains Steph. This creates space to respond thoughtfully.

• Grounding exercises: The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique focuses on the senses. Elaine describes her method: “I stop and listen and just hear the sounds around me. That makes you concentrate and takes you away from whatever’s going on in your mind feeling stressful.”

• Box breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Repeat to calm the nervous system.

• Movement: Walk, stretch, or shake off tension to redirect focus and release stress.

• Routine: Regular meals, hydration, and sleep stabilise mood and reduce stress. Elaine notes, “That routine is the one that keeps me well… having three meals a day with some snacks and putting some healthy food into your body makes you feel better.”

• Social connection: Peer groups and friends provide emotional support and normalise experiences. Steph adds, “Connecting can just ease it. Suddenly discovering that other people have experienced the same thing as you can be really relieving.”

• Plan your day: Structure prevents idle moments where stress can spiral.

• Self care: Simple actions like cooking, showering, or brushing your teeth mindfully can provide comfort and control.

Like podcasts? Listen to the Why Mindfulness? episode of the Ocean Hills *Addicted to Recovery podcast here.

“These skills will grow stronger with practice,” Steph reminds us. “You don’t need to live in a state of constant stress. You can move through it and move on and have a really lovely life.” Elaine adds, “If you stop and listen, your mind stops and listens. It’s a really beautiful thing that I do for myself.”

Learning to manage stress is a vital part of recovery. At Ocean Hills, we encourage reaching out for support, practising grounding and breathing techniques, and building routines that reduce stress. You don’t have to manage it alone – small steps and consistent practice can help you navigate stress and stay on the path to lasting recovery.

If you or a loved one is struggling with alcohol, contact Ocean Hills founder Elaine on 027 574 7744. You can also check out our admissions page here.

Like podcasts? Listen to the Importance of Connection in Sobriety episode of the Ocean Hills *Addicted to Recovery podcast here.

*This award-winning podcast was made with the help of Radio Hawke's Bay.